Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Wingnut Wrapup

So, what are the wingnuts moaning about, while their beloved President destroys the last shreds of democratic government in the country, and makes himself out to be one of the biggest idiots in recorded human history??

Well, of course, we expect this one:

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Judicial Watch President: Hillary Clinton Still Faces Legal Jeopardy Over Gross Mishandling of Classified Information"

Which of course she did not do, but with our current government, that is hardly enough to keep her out of prison. This story was written before Donald Trump's spilling his guts about Israeli intelligence operations to the Russians was revealed.  I wonder how Katie feels about that?

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Interview with Healthcare Wonk Lanhee Chen: How Can the Senate Improve the Healthcare Bill?"

Well, that should prove to be some helpful advice.  Never heard of Lanhee Chen?  He works for the "Hoover Institute," one of the oldest standing right wing lie factories in the country.  So, what are his helpful suggestions?  Slashing Medicaid and doing away with regulations on insurance companies.  Thanks, Lanhee, for coming up with two ideas that have never been thought of before.

Matt Vespa: "Flashback: When Democrats Loved Comey And Thought We Were Privileged To Have Him As FBI Director"

Never.  I think that would be the right answer there.  Some of them might have thought that Comey was the best right wing fanatic the crooked, Republican controlled system could cough up (they were wrong about that) but they all knew that you don't get anyone but a wingnut tool as head of the FBI.

And of course, we knew this was coming:

Michael Barone, Town Hall:  "James Comey Is the Latest Victim of the Clintons"

The Clintons. Yeah, it was Hillary who fired Comey.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Mona Charen, Town Hall:  "Trump's Escape From Comey Mess"

Seppuku?  Mona makes this claim:

"President Donald Trump has obeyed the law since taking the oath of office."

Well, that's nice.  Or would be, if it were remotely true.  There are, you know, still laws against using your government job to financially benefit your family, or against using the government to benefit a foreign dictator.  Oh, THOSE laws.  Well, except for them.  And a few dozen more I could mention.  Like that thing in the Constitution about treason.

Or this astute analysis of the problems in the executive branch:

Streiff, Red State:  "“With Few Exceptions” Donald Trump Needs to Hire Brighter People"

Yeah, all he needs is people who show more intelligence in savaging the democratic norms that have enabled the country to exist for over two centuries.  Because then, people might never have noticed that Trump is making himself into a dictator until it is too late.  Actually, it may already be too late.  What Trump really needs is better liars- that is all Streiff is really saying.

And the Conservatives beg Trump to keep his real promise to them:

Spengler, PJ Media:  "More Killing, Please, Mr. President!"

Well, just spit it right out there, Mr. Spengler.  May I point out, if you have forgotten, that this sickening right wing pervert has taken his pseudonym from  Oswald Spengler, the author of a 1918 book entitled "The Decline of the West," that was one of the most pervasive influences on the thought of one Adolf Hitler, a figure often cited as having had a significant role in German politics in the years following the publication of Spengler's book.

And in major national news:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Wow! Liberal Student Freaks Out – Screams for Over 2 Minutes Straight After Seeing Trump Sign on Campus "

Two minutes!  The country will never recover!

Eddie Scarry, Washington Examiner:  "The media have already impeached Trump"

If only.

Philip Klein, Washington Examiner:  "Jimmy Kimmel is everything that's wrong with America's healthcare debate"

Eight years and billions of dollars of right wing corporate-financed lies.  And it's all Jimmy Kimmel's fault.  I should have figured that out by myself!

Art Moore, World Net Daily:  "REBELLION GROWS AGAINST MUSLIM INDOCTRINATION IN SCHOOL...'At what point did you decide that it was OK to teach my children about Islam?'

Yeah, and while we are on the subject, at what point did you decide that it was OK to teach Art's children about evolution or racism or geology or astronomy or any other fucking subject Art doesn't want them to know about?

World Net Daily:  "Tom Coburn, Mark Levin agree: Convention of Dead 50-foot squid washes ashore"

That's what it said, anyway.  Not sure what it means.

Breitbart:  "Report: Donald Trump to Hang Portrait of Electoral College Landslide in White House...A reporter for the One America News Network spotted a White House staffer walking through the building with a framed map of the electoral college victory."

Is there a point where egomania descends into a national obscenity?  Because if there is, Trump just passed that point.

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Analysis: McMaster Doesn't Deny Core Elements of WaPo Story, But Rejects Its Premise"

Translation into English:  It's all true, but so fucking what?  What are you going to do about it, buddy?

Bernard Goldberg, Town Hall:  "Trump, Comey and the Wound that Just Won't Heal"

Aah, at last, a right winger who is going to try to be honest about the chaos and subversion in the White House...oh, wait, how could I have been so naive?

"For a while now Democrats have had about as much confidence in FBI chief James Comey as they have in Donald Trump, which is next to none -- and I'm being generous. They've wanted Comey removed from office because they believed he was a big reason Hillary Clinton lost the presidency. Now, thanks to Donald Trump's decision to fire him, they got just what they said they wanted. Except now they don't want it.

If Hillary Clinton had won and fired Comey, Democrats would have said he got what he deserved."

See?  The whole thing is not about Trump's criminality, his treason and obstruction of justice, it's about the fact that Democrats wanted both the removal of the right wing tool Comey and the right wing monster Trump, which somehow makes it all about them.

Neil Stevens, Red State:  "Rosie O’Donnell Wants To Repeat A Dark Moment In History...Rosie O’Donnell has a plan for America. We’ve seen this before in Latin America. It doesn’t end well."

Rosie O'Donnell.  Well, she has her hands right on the levers of power in the United States, doesn't she?  On the other hand, best ignore the guy in the White House who is trying to repeat a dark moment in history that took place in 1930's Germany.

Duke Fergus, Red State:  "This Week: Will Jeff Sessions Tame The Music Industry Crony Capitalists?"

This week!  The crucial issue to America that is taking place this week!  Music industry crony capitalists!!!  And by the way, where is this threat coming from?  The record companies, with their decades long history of screwing musicians?  Services like Pandora, with their shorter but equally brutal history of screwing musicians?  No, the threat comes from "crony capitalists" like ASCAP and BMI, who are conspiring to see that musicians get some scraps of the revenue from their creations.  Protect the workers and you are now a "crony capitalist;" screw the workers and you are, I guess, a "job creator." Jobs that don't pay anything, but still...

Streiff, Red State:  "BREAKING. H. R. McMaster Gives a Presser on the Alleged Trump Security Blunder"

"Alleged."  You've got to love that word.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "FBI Stoolies Leak Secret Comey Memo to NY Times — Trump Administration Responds to Latest FakeNews"

Well, either it's fake news or it's not.  If the "stoolies" leaked it, it's not fake news, it's real news.  Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too.  So, here's Jim's standard:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Did Washington Post Just Publish Its 4th Major FakeNews Story in Last Week?"

See, if Jim doesn't like it, it's fake.  That's the standard of journalism today, by a certified liar who is now, thanks to Donald Trump, an official member of the White House press corps.

Alan Keyes, Renew America:  "Firing Comey: Did Trump give his adversaries a sword?"

If he did, I'd like to suggest that they give it a good cleaning, as he stuck it in his own back before turning it over.

And man, is this going to help things:

Cliff Kincaid, Renew America:  "Changing academia has been much more difficult than changing the media. However, there is hope: President Donald Trump has asked Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. to head a White House task force on reforming the U.S. higher education system."

Jerry Falwell, who runs one of the most fraudulent excuses for a "university" in our history, to "reform" our higher education system.  And how will he do that?

"It is anticipated that Falwell's task force will recommend the increasing use of online courses in order to drive down the costs of higher education for students nationwide. This is a proven method to accomplish what we call "Defunding the Marxist Madrassas." In this way, the academic bastions of Marxist thought that inhibit real diversity in thinking, and even prevent conservatives from coming on campus, can be reduced in their influence and even dismantled."

"Marxist Madrassas."  Did it ever occur to Cliff that Communists are atheists and consequently somewhat unlikely to be associated with Madrassas?  No?  Well, then.  Of course, the real effect of this "reform" would be to drive more and more of our "higher education" resources into the hands of crooked rich people like Betsey DeVos.

Larry Klayman, Renew America:  "Indict Comey for obstruction of justice"

Comey...obstruction of justice...well, you don't really want to see any of the rest of what Larry has to say, because it is totally incoherent, and you've already heard the punch line, so we'll just move on.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "Gay effort to reintroduce slavery in the South fails"

This has to do with someone being required to serve a gay client in his place of business.  Given that Republicans are actually trying to reduce the American working populace to a condition barely distinguishable from slavery, it's sort of amusing, but like Larry Klayman's article just above, a classic example of right wingers accusing liberals of every abomination the right is committing themselves.

Glenn Beck, The Blaze:  "Ted Cruz has a bill to solve health care: here is what it would do "

Well, I'm not about to waste my time reading this, so let me just take a guess:  It would kick a few million more people out of their healthcare plans, and give a multibillion dollar gift to the richest people in America.  I'm pretty sure that I've got the basics of whatever he is proposing.

Geoffrey P. Hunt, American Thinker:  "Trump Drops Bunker Buster on Comey and the Deep State"

And with the same effect: zero on Trump's enemies, and a couple more points shaved off of his already pathetic approval rating.  Way, to go there, Donny boy!

J. Robert Smith, American Thinker:  "Trump’s Outdated WH Media Operation Has to Go"

They just aren't lying anywhere near hard enough.

"The president deserves a communications strategy and execution as groundbreaking and bold as himself."

And as criminal and deceptive.  Maybe then he'd have a chance.

Avrohom Gordiner, American Thinker:  "New York City's Reduced Crime Rates: Don't Be Fooled"

Don't be fooled by the truth!  Things MUST have gotten a lot worse under Obama, trust American Thinker on that one.

Allan J. Favish, American Thinker:  "Sally Yates misquoted the law to Ted Cruz"

Sally Yates is the former acting Attorney General of the United States.  Allan Favish is also an attorney; he has spent his career trying to prevent insurance companies from having to pay out on claims to their insured clients.  He is also known in Washington D.C. for having spent over ten years filing motions demanding the autopsy photos of Vince Foster, so he can "prove" that Hillary killed Foster.  So, who are you going to believe is more likely to be correctly interpreting the law?

Oliver Lane, Breitbart:  "1 in 5 Child Deaths in London Borough Caused by Parents Being ‘Close Relatives’

I never knew there were that many people from Alabama in London.

And let's just go out on this frightening story:

Before It's News:  "Creatures of the Bottomless Pit – the Real Alien Threat You Need to Be Aware Of!  URGENT: You need to see this now – the Revelation ‘locusts of the bottomless pit’ have now been uncovered! This is not science fiction. This is reality. The greatest horror the world will ever see is about to unleash from beneath the Earth! Unless you want to witness the GREATEST HORROR THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN – You better PAY CLOSE ATTENTION!"

" This is not science fiction. This is reality."  Well, you've been warned.

More soon, until wingnut writers complete the descent into incomprehensible apelike gibberish which they have been promising for several years now.

2 comments:

Percy said...

How do you feel about the Wichita Wingnuts? Their season starts today against the Salina Stockade.

Green Eagle said...

My only feeling is one of deep sadness that they play baseball rather than hockey, so they can never play against the Shreveport Mudbugs.