Excellent Advice for Repubs from Bill Kristol

I am happy to announce that, with today's comments at The Weekly Standard, Bill Kristol is rapidly moving in on Lou Gehrig's legendary record of 2,130 consecutive games, by publishing approximately 2,100 columns utterly free from a single shred of the truth. Here is his latest in this amazing streak:

"Don't Wince. Fight!
Dick Cheney, Most Valuable Republican.
by William Kristol"

Yes, you read that right. Let's see some more, shall we?

"Dick Cheney is reminding Republicans that they need to defend themselves when attacked."

Bill, I hate to bring this to your attention, but Republicans are not being attacked. They are being ignored.

Except for Green Eagle, of course, who suffers from a pathological need to feast on ridicule.

"The real question any Republican strategist should ask himself is this: What will Republican chances be in 2012 if voters don't remember the Bush administration..."

Yeah, that would really hurt you guys, wouldn't it? So, keep bringin' them back, baby. Particularly Dick. That's got to be good for Republicans.

"That's why Republicans should listen carefully when Cheney gives a speech"

Well, we'll all listen carefully. The country needs a good laugh after the last eight years, Bill. What, now you don't want us to remember the Bush administration?

"Now it's of course the case that Republicans have to do more than fight back. They need a forward-looking agenda in all areas."

A forward looking agenda? But Bill, that would make them Democrats.

"After all, if you're behind on the scoreboard, and your defense is on the field--there's nothing better than to jam up a couple of running plays, sack the quarterback on a blitz, and force a punt from bad field position."

No, Bill, if you're behind, there's nothing better than a couple of touchdowns. But, of course, you've captured the total Republican strategy, haven't you? When you're behind, forget coming up with good ideas for the future. No, the answer is to "sack the quarterback." Bill, you haven't figured out here that Barack Obama is your quarterback too, and when you sack him, you are sacking America.

This isn't some sort of game, you stupid, disloyal jerk.

Comments

Anonymous said…
May I also point out that when pundits resort to extended metaphors drawn from violent sports, it's time for Poll P. to tune out.
Green Eagle said…
Got ya there, Anonymous. Nothing better for our country than to base our foreign policy on the behavior of a bunch of steroided-out 350 pound defensive linemen.

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